The Chelsea Standard
A Heritage Newspaper
Weekly Publication
'Forever families'
Dexter couple adopts a second child from China
By Sheila Pursglove, Special Writer
PUBLISHED: January 10, 2008
The Patel family in Dexter had a special reason to give thanks at Thanksgiving. Earlier in the month they brought their newest daughter, Amira Chun Yu, home from China.
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It was a Thanksgiving tinged with both joy and sadness. Manish Patel's father died in October, and never got to see his newest grandchild.
The Patel's adoption story started years ago.
"I always knew I would adopt, it was just a matter of when," Tammy Patel says.
The couple, Dexter residents since 2003, has two biological sons, 12-year-old Ashton and 8-year-old Brennen. Their daughter Brea was adopted from China in January 2005, at the age of 11 months.
"She has just grown so fast, so smart and beautiful, we couldn't be any prouder," Patel says.
With three children to raise and put through college, the Patels planned to adopt only once. But while in China to bring Brea home, they encountered many older children in need of "forever families."
One in particular really touched their hearts — a six-year-old girl who was special needs due to missing the lower part of her leg. Patel and her husband watched the child for hours on the plane ride home.
"She was so happy to have a family," Patel says. "I knew then, I would try to go back and this time for an older child considered hard to place."
The couple started searching as soon as they got home - and last February found a website with a list of children waiting for families.
They were immediately drawn to a photo of a young girl, and called the agency for information.
"We looked into this beautiful little girl's eyes and knew she was ours," Patel says. "She had been waiting for a family for over seven years and finally we found each other."
Abandoned as a baby in a small garden in the middle of a busy four-lane road, the child was placed in an orphanage. Her two special needs were repaired bowed legs and facial scars.
"We looked at her and the only special need we saw was she needs a family," Patel says "We didn't see her as 'hard to place' — she found a place in our hearts that afternoon just fine."
The couple began the adoption process again, an easier task the second time, because they knew what to do and what to expect. Their agency was Alliance for Children, based in Massachusetts. "They have been so great to work with, truly wonderful," Patel says.
In October, Patel, accompanied by her mother and Brennen, left for China to bring 8-year-old Amira Chun Yu home.
"Our trip was great," Patel says. "Brennen and Amira bonded instantly. It was so good for both of them. My mom came on the trip again and that was such a great help."
Patel says the trip was extremely hard for her since she left her husband, Ashton and Brea at home and the trip was shortly after the death of her father-in-law. The trip went very smoothly, however, both in China and on the flight back to Michigan.
Once home in Dexter, Amira started to attend school for an hour here and there to get used to it. The first few times she was very scared and nervous, Patel says. "But thanks to such a wonderful and understanding staff at Cornerstone Elementary and to Amira's wonderful teacher, Mary Leach, the transition has been so easy. They have all helped her feel comfortable and the kids in class were so well prepared, so helpful and understanding to the things Amira wouldn't know.
"The kids in class all say hi to her and help direct her when she is looking what to do next. "
In fact, Amira was ready to stay for a full day of school before her mom was ready to let her go.
"It was hard to send her to school," Patel says. "We had been together for over a month night and day, and rarely separate unless it was just for a quick trip to the grocery store. But she was ready and waved at me to leave.
"She is the strongest, most resilient child I have ever met. If I had her strength, I would be so lucky!"
Amira started at Cornerstone - the same school where Brennen attends second grade, while Ashton is at Mill Creek Middle School - after Thanksgiving break and hasn't looked back since, her mom says. Although Amira is two months older than Brennen, she attends first grade. "With no English skills, a totally different culture and new surroundings, we couldn't very well expect her to function at grade level," Patel says.
Amira also attends the Ann Hua Chinese School in Ann Arbor to keep up to date in Mandarin with her studies till she can understand English. She will continue studying there so she will be bilingual - and Brennen is also going to start Chinese classes there. A fourth-grader at Ann Hua, Amira is an apt pupil, reading and writing not only Pinyin but also the Chinese characters.
The little girl has also blended into her new family as if she had always been here, bringing out the best in everyone, Patel says. "She has taught Manish and I both, that actions do speak louder than words, she has taught us to slow down and enjoy every moment and most of all how to love unconditionally."
Each of her new siblings has a different relationship with Amira, their mother says. Brea looks up to her big sister and does anything Amira does. Brennen and Amira, two months apart in age, are best friends and love doing everything together.
It is the relationship with Ashton that Patel finds the most surprising.
"Ashton is a very quiet kid, he loves to play viola in the Dexter Orchestra, play video games and hang out with his friends. But when he and Amira are together they are both so different — but so connected. They love to tease and play with such a spark in their eyes," Patel says.
"Each one has such a special bond, one that I would have never dreamed of when just a few months ago, we were all just strangers."
She is amazed that a child left to raise herself, no one to tuck her in, kiss her good night or to make sure her needs other than very basic are met, can trust people in a world that has so far not been there for her. It's clear her new daughter has a huge heart, Patel says.
"This beautiful little girl has learned to tell us how many kisses she wants and how many hugs she would like. She has unconditionally let us into her heart and to trust us, even when she had no reason to trust anything in the world.
"We have had so many people tell us how lucky Brea and Amira are to have been adopted.
"Our response is, and will always be, 'We are truly the lucky ones.'"
Sheila Pursglove is a freelance writer. She can be reached at bingley51@yahoo.com.
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